| Read the following information (and watch a video) about relationships and then answer questions 1-14. |
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POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN CHILDREN/TEENS AND ADULTS
Research shows that children who have relationships with positive adult role models have reduced stress levels and higher academic achievement and are able to get along better with their peers than children without these relationships. According to the Council on Accreditation’s After School and Youth Development Standards, methods to create positive relationships with children include:
- Helping children feel welcome, comfortable, and supported
- Recognizing positive accomplishments
- Treating children with respect
- Listening to what children say
- Responding to children with interest, acceptance, and appreciation
- Being consistent and following through on what you say you will do
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| 1) In 2-4 sentences explain how adults in your life have helped your overall development. |
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| Correct! |
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| POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEERS
Because the ability to establish and maintain friendships is necessary throughout children’s lives, it is considered the most important goal of social-emotional development for school-age children.
Making and keeping friends is especially important for school-age children because their friends play many parts in their lives, such as:
- A companion: Someone to spend their time with, share common interests with, and enjoy each other’s company
- A confidant: Someone to share secrets, to engage in pretend play, and to share thoughts and feelings
- An ally: Someone with which to form a team when facing difficult tasks
- A support: Someone who provides stability and motivation during difficult times
Watch the following video and answer questions 2-15.
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| 2) "I" statements help you use assertive communication and active listening skills with peers. |
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| Correct! |
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| 3) Using "I" statements with peers allows you to take ownership of what you say. |
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| Correct! |
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| 4) Make nice statements to your friends by starting with the words “I know.” |
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| Correct! |
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| 5) Never accuse friends of doing things to upset you by stating “when you.” |
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| Incorrect |
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| 6) When talking to friends, always use “because” to explain why you feel upset. |
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| Correct! |
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| 7) Explain to your friends that you would feel better about things using “I would appreciate it if.” |
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| Correct! |
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| 8) It is okay when you are upset to talk to your friends in a threatening way. |
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| Correct! |
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| 9) Active listening is an important skill to use with friendships. |
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| Correct! |
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| 10) Active listening requires showing eye contact and putting aside distractions. |
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| Correct! |
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| 11) Repeating back what a friend tells you does not show that you are listening actively. |
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| Correct! |
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| 12) Be thoughtful with your responses to friends. |
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| Correct! |
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| 13) Reflection on your conversation with friends including how they feel and understanding them shows active listening. |
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| Correct! |
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| Now let’s practice communication skills. Create an I-Message in response to the following scenarios. An I-Message statement shows your side of the situation and how you feel, and doesn’t threaten the other person. Answer questions 14- 17. |
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| 14) Your best friend and you have just gotten out of a meeting at school. Just as you are leaving they say to you, “I want to go somewhere to eat. Do you have any change?” This is the third time they’ve asked you for money and have yet to pay you back.
Example - I am sorry but I do not have enough money to pay for both of us. |
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| Correct! |
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| 15) It is Thursday night and you have a difficult exam tomorrow. You’ve been so busy with other activities that you haven’t had the chance to study yet. Just as you open your books to start to cram, your cell phone rings. Your friend says that they need to talk to you about something that’s really bugging them. When you explain that you would love to talk with them tomorrow because of your exam, your friend says, “You said I could phone you any time but I guess you didn’t really mean it.”
Example - I am sorry that you are upset and I am here for you but right now I need to do what is best for me and study. |
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| Correct! |
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| Now show that you can actively listen and reflect on a conversation that you have with your friends. Paraphrase the following scenarios to show that you actively listened. |
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| 16) I told my supposed-to-be best friend a secret about what happened with me and my partner last weekend. Now everyone in my whole school knows about it.
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| I hear that you are hurt and upset because someone who you thought was your best friend shared your private business with people. |
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| 17) I’m really into this person at school. We’re probably going to see each other at a party this weekend, but there’s going to be another person there that likes them too. I don’t know how they feel about me. |
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| (Paraphrase what the friend is saying)
You really like this person and would love to get a chance to hang out with him at the party but you are worried about how he feels about you and if this other girl will get his attention. |
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| The Developmental Relationships framework applies to relationships with peers, adults, family, community members, and everyone. After reading through the worksheets, answer questions 18-21. |
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| An example: |
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| 55 ideas: |
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| 55 ideas continued... |
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| 18) In 3-5 sentences explain how your relationships with friends differ from those who are “new friends” to friends you have had for several years. |
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| I hope you truly would NOT throat punch them....and if a new friend fell I would hope you would also ask if they are ok..? |
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| 19) Of the 55 skills listed, name one skill that you use when expressing care and one skill you use when showing support. |
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| 20) Speak with a trusted adult or friend and ask them to give you feedback on your ability to be an active listener. Name one strength and one weakness that you can improve on. |
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| 21) Lastly, in 2-4 sentences explain how you can apply relationship skills when talking to or working with people in the community. |
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| Correct! |
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| 22) Attach any work required by your teacher and complete a log entry. |
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| Correct! |
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