Assume that you have been assigned to write an autobiographical narrative for class and this is your first draft. Read the following draft and answer the following questions on how to revise this.
1 Sometimes scary things turn out to be funny. 2 It was my friend Phil’s birthday and a few of our friends were planning to spend the night camping in the forest behind his house. 3 The mid-June air had grown humid earlier in the day and the evening brought little relief. 4 Soon, dusk approached.
5 We pitched our tent in a soft grassy clearing surrounded by several towering trees. 6 This spot was about a quarter mile from Phil’s house.
7 “This is the perfect spot.” Phil explained. 8 “The ground will be really comfortable for us to sleep on.”
9 “Looks good to me,” I said as we loaded our sleeping bags ads supplies into the tent.
10 We pictured ourselves as fearless adventurers, spending a night in the forest by ourselves. 11 Little did we know our bravery would soon be called into question.
12 Staring up at the roof of the tent, we could see the outlines of the trees that stretched above us. 13 After dark, the forest stirred with a bit of activity. 14 Otherwise, the night remained very peaceful.
15 Later, we decided to tell scary stories. 16 With each story, the idea of an entire night in the woods grew scarier, too. 17 Suddenly, we heard a soft whoosh, followed by a loud thump! 18 A mysterious shadow flashed onto the top of our tent. 19 We screamed in terror. 20 We scrambled out of our sleeping bags. 21 Sprinting furiously back towards Phil’s house we felt certain that we had narrowly avoided an attack.
22 When we reached the house safely, Phil’s father set out to search the area. 23 He returned with some surprising – and embarassing – news.
24 “What was it? 25 Did you find it?” we inquired anxiously.
26 “Yes, I think I found the culprit” he said smiling. 27 “When I got there, the neighbor’s cat was climbing up into the tree above your tent,” he chuckled. 28 “She must have fallen out of the tree and given you a scare.”
29 “Oh. how strangely hilarious!” Phil exclaimed.
30 The mystery had been solved. 31 However, we all sheepishly admitted that we had no desire to return to the tent. 32 We slept safely and peacefully inside the house. 33 We were the brave survivors of a harrowing adventure. 34 In conclusion, I learned an unvaluable lesson about the cases and effect of fear.
Now answer questions 1-30